The Minority of Janos

Flying back to Calgary tomorrow evening; we're hunkered down in our hotel room, gathering the last bit of strength we'll need.  Vacations are tiring things ... which should not be taken as a complaint.  The energy a trip costs is well worth the investment.

During our flight out we were seated next to a Romanian from Brasov, the same city that in my game is Kronstadt, the centre-point of the map I've been constructing all this year.   Coincidences.  This fellow, Janos, was a landed immigrant in Canada; during the flight, mask restrictions were in place and this Janos did not like.  Janos was furious.  Through the entire flight.  About two and a half hours in, while shifting seats during a mutual bathroom stop, we chanced to get into a conversation and all of Janos' anger flowed out like a storm day in Halifax.  Janos hated the masks, he hated that the mask mandate was due to end in three days and therefore he had missed by three days not having to wear one, and he hated Canada's stupid rules.  He hated that the noble and righteous truckers that staged a protest last winter were viciously and fascistically put down, and therefore he hated the Canadian government, and by extension Canadians, who were the type, Janos explained, to tell you one thing with a smile before stabbing you in the back.

As I waited for the toilet, letting Janos run on without choosing to interrupt the tirade, which went on without relent for about five minutes (someone was clearly having trouble with the toilet), I marvelled at the perspective Janos had chosen to have.  I didn't speak until he had reached the point where he was slamming every Canadian in the country, whereupon I took the opportunity to poke a hole in his gasbag ... I merely said reassuringly, remembering that we're stuck together in side-by-side seats on a plane, "I promise not to stab you."

This caught Janos by surprise.  I only had the opportunity to speak because he himself had paused upon realising that he'd insulted virtually every traveller on the plane, including me ... but the tactful, moderately jovial response from me succeeded in modestly installing his self-awareness.  I went to the bathroom, he went after me, and when he came back he sat down and said very quietly and humbly, with an embarrassed grin, "I won't stab you either."

He continued to be angry about the masks, but he calmed down quite a lot ... and I finished the flight by writing this post in my head.  It is only now, five days later, that I'm finding the energy to write it.

What infuriates Janos, and all those like him, is the notion that anyone — an airline, a government body, society in general — should dare to infringe upon what he believes is his "perfect freedom" to do whatever he wants.  He has no concept at all that the expression of his perfect freedom infringes upon others, like passengers who have to sit beside him or stewards who must maintain order on the plane.  He has very little outward perception of the presence of other people, or their opinions, unless he's forced by circumstances to realise his vulnerability.  And when he is vulnerable; when he absolutely has no power whatsoever, because he's at the mercy of the airline or the law ... then he responds with unrelenting emotional outrage.  Apparently because the world was not specifically built around his "quite reasonable" needs.  Such as not having to wear a mask.

And this brings us to D&D, which is full of participants like Janos.  Rules and restrictions and limitations, including the "arbitrary" power of the DM, whether the DM is good or bad, simply do not fit into the Janos-universe.  It isn't so much that rules are for other people; there ARE no other people.  There is Janos, and only Janos, and everyone else in existence is defined by their infringement upon Janos's rights.  Rights which, concernedly enough, often revolve around cheering for other groups who bash or insult those bodies of authority which Janos also HATES.

The DM naturally falls into that category of authority, as does anyone who keeps Janos from having what he wants.  I believe this is because Janoses of the world so rarely obtains what they want.  They compare their jobs, their value among others, their wealth or the number of compromises they have to make concerning their perfect freedom and feel they've come up short, every time.  They've never been given a break, they've never been respected as much as they deserve, they've never reached that kind of bliss they're absolutely sure is out there ... and so they drift into things that would seem to enable them to achieve perfect success and power, only to discover that every social group treats them pretty much the same.

My advice about how to be a dungeon master presumes that an agreement has been made between the players and the DM that we're going to observe and respect each other, and the rules, and our comparative importance in respect to others, with the belief that group activities — whether friends playing a game, a group of people boarding an aircraft or a country of citizens working together — depend on giving as much as we get.  It's the simple fact that there are many people, each have their own wants, not everyone can have everything they want and so we'll work towards an agreed-upon mutual well-being, or "welfare," that helps everyone get a reasonable amount.

This doesn't work for Janos.  Janos doesn't want a "reasonable" amount.  Freedom to fly wherever he wishes, or speak openly against the people of a country without expectation of violence, or having the government of a country that was not his own approve of his right to exist and work and enjoy the general experience AREN'T ENOUGH.  For Janos, those things have no value!  Flying is his right; insulting others is his right; living and working wherever he pleases is his RIGHT.  Just as the Janos who plays D&D has a "right" to be 7th level, or possess a +5 sword, or be healed at will, or browbeat the DM or whatever else he needs to do to make sure he gets everything he's owed.  Janos doesn't care that this is a group activity.  This is Janos's activity, and that's the defining line he's drawn.  IF Janos plays, then Janos is OWED what Janos WANTS.  Rules and other people, and the DM too, get in the way of that, so those things must change and shift until the game works according to the laws of Janos.

And because Janos is very loud, and very angry, and very threatening, and can remain so for a four hour flight without relent ... and I mean that very seriously, for he rocked and stiffened his arms and legs in constantly readiness to explode in fury, both before and after our little chat.  I may have eased him off insulting me, but he still had to wear that mask, so Janos did not relax until he actually stepped off the flight ramp, ripping off his mask, in front of me so that I couldn't fail to see it.

Because of his power to be angry, Janos can intimidate everyone in his path.  The Janos that plays D&D can intimidate the company, he can intimidate other players and DMs, he can scare the hell out of people at a game con until he's wrestled out and banned forever ... none of which changes his mind about being right about his rights.  He can mash keys from morning til night until he gets the rule changes he wants, until he rules the board he runs, until he's harassed the company into grab-assing themselves into dumbfuck "20 always succeeds" rule-changes until another pile of Janoses cause the company to back off that three weeks later, demonstrating what a bunch of spineless worms the company employs.

[okay, that part wasn't written on the plane; I saw the take-back of the 20-always-succeeds rule by the company on my google feed Saturday]

If you as a DM allow any Janos the right to sit at your game table, you've demonstrated your lack of authority.  You've demonstrated your disrespect to every other player.  You may feel that you're being inclusive, but "inclusive" depends upon a universal agreement by all those who are included to recognise and respect others.  Those who will not, or cannot, do not deserve to be included.  Ever.  That goes for the D&D game, that goes for passengers aboard an airline, that goes for the whole country.  Our being included has as a price tag the readiness to accept the inclusion of others.  The one who won't pay that price deserves nothing less than to be shown the door.  Not just the door of my game, but all doors, everywhere.

When I play, or give advice about DMing on this blog, I demand this general respect for everyone's welfare, not just our own.  I expect that if the reader is unable to demand this of your players, and yourself, then naturally, the advice I give won't work.  It won't.  Because it presumes people able to adjust, grow, become more able and mature, cheer on their fellow human and generally see themselves as a member of a group, not a member of a minority of one.