Thursday, August 27, 2020

That is So Lamia

Have you seen the wikipedia page on the lamia?  Going back to the source material for this monster, it is a kitchen sink of conflicting explanations for what the beast was, with sources weighing in for centuries to describe what it is.  And none of them are anything like the lamia as it's described in the 5e Monster Manual or Dragonix.  Viewing the source, "lamia nobles" and a "lamia queens" are obviously ridiculous, while the 5e lamia is no closer to the real thing than is the old lamia from the old 1979 Monster Manual.

The 5e version is a true punch-and-play monster, as shown.  Blah blah, desert cities, jackalwere guards, caravan plundering, tons of treasure, scrying, seeks out adventurers with "pure hearts" (I just threw up in my mouth).  Jeebus, we could pretty much scratch out "lamia" and insert half a dozen other monster names, or simply a 14th level mage, in its place.  There's not a shred of originality in this.

Notice in particular what's missing: Kills Children.  Parents using the name "lamia" for centuries to scare little children half to death to make them be good little boys and girls.  Not just another desert queen with a few powers, grotesque disney supervillain, but a voracious, sexualized monster that removes it's own eyes because it can't sleep at night.  But hey, D&D is a childrens' game, right?  We can't possibly include a monster in it that was used deliberately to scare children, can we?

Having run the lamia in the old manual a few times, I never liked it.  The wisdom drain wasn't particularly scary and apart from that the monster does not even do much damage.  The 5e lamia looks like a hodge-podge of desperate.  The source material is a scattered mess, engendering pictures of lamia online that are indistinguishable from medusae.  The lamia is a queen, a lover, a snake thing, a child killer, a succubus, even a dragon and a mother of dragons.  Shee-it.  I had to roll this around for awhile.  Whatever I came up with couldn't possibly be worse that what I've seen and frankly, the only thing that really interested me was the snatch-children-and-kill-them thing.  I've already got monsters that do all the other things.

So this is mostly independent of any other source, except for one artist who offered me a respite from a thousand pictures of women with breasts and snake bodies (sexually ambiguous, anyone?), identifying the image below as a "lamia."  Take this monster or leave it.  I tried to be dark.  D&D is a game for adults.


5 comments:

  1. That first paragraph is a work of genius: "bards and dramatists have invented thematic characters having little or nothing to do with the beast." Ouch!

    I'm wondering if it might be useful to post these creature features on Reddit or something. I know you've tried that route before and found it lacking.

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  2. I love it! It's a great presentation of a fairly poorly defined monster.

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  3. Never have used a lamia in a game. Never.

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  4. I was never interested in the lamia before now; it was just some weird female sphinx from adnd. Now I really want to use this in a game!

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  5. One of the only things I will defend about D&D 4th edition is that they actually went with original ideas for the lamia. Maybe not good, but certainly original.

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