"Yes, Billy. The d20."

[ You can read today's post on The Higher Path here]


Since I've had this in every campaign I've run since dinosaurs walked the earth, I'll bet you have it too.  There will always be players who can't remember which die to roll, including the "to hit" die; or what die they use for a short sword; or what armor they're wearing, without having to check it every time; or what their spells are; or any of a hundred other things, that are sure to drive you crazy as a DM.

Here's what I've learned to do about it.

You can't change people.  You just can't.  And therefore, there's no point in getting mad at them, or demanding that they remember things, because they won't.  They will say that they're sorry and they will promise to do better, but they won't.  The first rule, then, is to accept that whatever happens, you're not going to get this player on board with your plan to teach them, once and for all, what die to roll.

Accepting this will bring you serenity.

In general, I've chosen to memorize as much as I can about everyone's player character: what level they are, their proficiencies, all their stats, their spells and their equipment.  Yes, there will be gaps; but I believe, between them and I, at least we're closer to having the whole picture than just relying on them.

I encourage them to ask me.  It is annoying to watch the player stare at a pile of dice, trying to remember to select the d8, or even what a d8 looks like (many players cannot distinguish a d8, apparently).  Better to let them ask me, at least twice a combat, "Which die do I roll?"  It saves time.  If possible, I encourage these players to sit next to a player that knows what a d8 looks like, so they can pick the die out of the pile and say, "Roll this."  Politely, obviously.  Everyone should be polite.

In my time as a DM, I have probably answered the question, "What armor class am I with chain mail and shield?" something like 2,000 times.  I talk in my sleep, and my partner will assert that, yes, I have been known to wake up in a frenzy, shouting, "Four!"  This may be the reason.

It is my job, I believe, to answer every question the players ask, no matter how many times they ask it.  I do it politely because this saves time.  Were I to shout, "Remove fear!  Your other goddamn spell is remove fear!  Why the fuck can't you remember that?" over and over, it would just be a very large effort on my part.  That's 16 words.  Instead, I can say only two words, "remove fear," the eight times I'll need to say it over three runnings, with the same amount of effort.  Efficiency.

Honestly.  If you allow yourself to expect too much from your players, you're just making the task of DMing much harder on yourself.  Don't do it.  If you answer their constant questions coolly, gently and as often as they are asked, as though you've not heard these questions asked two or three hundred times already, you'll seem like the considerate, parental DM you really want to be.

And you'll amaze them with your memory.