Moody

So, here we are... some months out from having lost my campaign, wondering what D&D holds for me.  I have books in progress; no doubt, I'll imagine others.  I can't suppose that after this much of my life spent thinking about this game, I'm just going to stop.  But there's a transformation going on, certainly.

I've meant a couple of times to write about how conversation about D&D is, at least for me, dead.  I've never been the "let's talk about old modules" guy.  I'm not the warstory-teller either.  5e has effectively killed rule-based discussions.  For-or-against conversations have died on the vine, at least in my experience.  It's been at least a year since anyone in any post I've read has even mentioned "alignment."  I seem to have accumulated a number of people who want to tell me about their worlds or their campaigns... but to be honest, guys; how much about the actual gameplay of my own world have I talked about on this blog?  I have done it, but mostly because I was encouraged to do it.  But for myself, hearing about how other people are going to run other people... really, I wish you the best of luck.  I'll answer questions if I'm asked, I'll try to get you out of a corner you've painted yourself into.  I swear, I'll do so with the zeal of a neighbour lending you his garden hose if your garage starts on fire.

But just to shoot the shit about it?  

I always marvelled how it was possible for golfers to go knock 18 holes in four, five hours, and spend the entire time talking about golf.  And plainly in a way that showed this is all they ever talked about, despite playing twice, three times a week.  Particularly in that going back to the club, getting a couple of beers, they'd spend that time... still talking about golf.  I like golf.  I think it's a pretty good game.  I've had some very enjoyable summer afternoons playing it, talking about history, ethics, the development of art in Europe in the 18th century... but this obsession with talking about golf.  Eh.  But apparently golf provides enough to keep hundreds of thousands of grown adults talking about it every weekend, all day, for years.  Perhaps it's because no one, in the last 150 years, has felt the need to produce "2nd Edition" golf, as a way to build the market.

I picked the wrong hobby.  I should have gotten into gardening, running or filmmaking.  At least if you show up to watch birds, the birdwatchers you call to show up actually show up, because they actually LIKE birdwatching.  But half the time, what do I hear about D&D players?  They don't show.  They call, they agree to show, and then they don't.  They get colder feet than a first time sub for a prodomme appointment.

So I understand people throwing their hands in the air and saying, "I'm done."  I used to pat myself on the back for having such dedicated players, that they always showed up, that I could count on them... HAH!  I hope every person on this blog is raising a glass right now and saying, "Cheers, you old bastard."  If not, get your ass out to your kitchen and get a beer.  You are owed the privilege of drinking to my inevitable humbling.

And so.  Amidst this... mood I'm in.  Don't know if I'm going to DM again.  Don't know if I care.

I feel like I'm on the edge of something important.  Something life-changing.  I say that because its something I've felt before.  It's like climbing into a rocket that's going to blast off at some point, but we don't know when.  And we don't know where it's going, or even whose rocket it is.  Just a feeling.

Can't remember when I had this before.  Or what happened when it did.

Here's a little advice: life is too short to waste your time.  So don't.  If you want to do something, do it.  Don't hedge, don't equivocate, don't measure, don't weigh.  The more you plan, the more time you spend figuring out the best way to get started, the more certain it is that you actually don't want to do it at all, and that you're just wasting your time pretending you're going to do something, because in your head you're thinking, "I've got to do something."

Don't just do "something."  That is absolutely the worst thing you can do.