Setting aside the content of the post, which is cute and silly and I really don't care, my attention is drawn to the first comment below. This paints a pretty picture of how poorly people understand charisma:
I remember a GM being a little surprised when another player and I started commenting on an NPC. He said, “But this guy has a charisma of like 9, he’s all scarred and stuff."
One of us said, "what’s his strength score?"
"See, he’s buff. Our characters appreciate a buff guy with scars. Shows he’s worthy mate material, a good warrior. We think he’s hot."
Is this the fault of the DM or the player? A little of both, actually. It wouldn't be the first DM who rushed to the conclusion that someone with a 9 charisma had scars and stuff. Nor would it be the first player who made the conclusion that an 18 strength = buff. Truth is, most people don't have a clear idea of what these numbers mean, except as generalities . . . that are in turn tremendously affected by what they see on film or television.
There's a speech I used to give wannabes I met in theatre and the arts. I would pedantically explain how no one in the movies is ugly. This is terrifically difficult for people to understand or believe . . . because their conception of 'ugly' has been adjusted radically upwards. Actors are, at worst, comparably ugly. Compared to you or I, none of them are.
Consider, first, that you're in a theatre seeing the head shot of someone on screen. That head is eight to twelve feet high - at least. Next time you're in a bad movie, look at the 'ugly' actor's skin. Look at their teeth. Look at the hairline, the shape of the brow or the eyes. Face-to-face, in real life this 'ugly' actor would look amazing. This is a necessity. No one wants to see an ordinary person's face blown up to 12 feet high.
Occasionally, someone will turn up in a film with bad teeth. Or scarred skin. One of my favorites for this is Dan Hedaya, who began playing rats, crumbs, jerks and blue collar guys. On screen, he's 'ugly.' But through his career, slowly, he worked his way up to playing likable characters. Check him out on Conan. He's plainly very charismatic.
Here's a shock for some readers. A charisma of 9 isn't scars and stuff . . . it's normal. It's probably YOU. If you can bear to look at yourself in a mirror and make a guess at your own charisma, that is. Here's a hint. If you can spend a whole day in public and no one approaches you, starts a non-business related conversation with you or remarks on your appearance, you're absolutely less than a 13. If any of the above happens regularly but not every time, you're probably a 12. Otherwise, time to face reality: you're an 11 or lower.
The reverse is true. You're nowhere near an 8 unless you're used to people changing tables or seats after sitting down near you. It's not your face or your scars and stuff, it's the way you smell. It's your teeth. It's the apparent presence/probability of lice in your hair or your clothes. If you don't see people wince as you talk to them or deliberately interact with you while plainly not looking at you, you're probably at least a 9 charisma.
I'm saying that this 9 charisma guy is painfully average. His defining features are not the scars on his face, it's the way you have trouble remembering what he looks like. It's his unpleasantly recessed eyes or the way his beard grows in, the slight waxiness of his skin or the receding hair line. You know . . . like you and I have.
Is an 18 strength 'buff'? You mean, like these guys?
The problem is that all too often we associate 'strength' with 'cut.' That's a Hollywood thing, again. Those guys with the abs and the definition? They're fragile and prone to injuries: lower back, tendonitis, torn muscles, other soft tissue damage, sprains, slipped discs, the list is long and painful.
So that guy with the 18 strength and the 9 charisma . . . is he hot? Well, he may have some scars, but probably not 'hot' ones. Let's start with the gut, the man-breasts, the hair that's falling out from overexertion (even without steroid use), the shortened arms or legs, the lack of a chin or the ears that no well-meaning physician pins back, this not being the modern era. Let's add in the 'scars' from the last time he was burned, his broken nose, the jaw that healed improperly, the lope he has from an bone injury that fused because one leg is shorter than the other . . . none of these things being enough to make him look especially ugly. No, he's just an average massive mountain that's been beat up a few hundred times.
Without having a consciousness about the human body, however - or rather, having a consciousness that tells you that a 'scar' equals charisma 9 and vice versa. Instead, we should realize that it isn't having a scar, it's what scar you have.
Charisma 9? Let's start with the 18 strength mountain looking too fucking scary - in armor and massive two-handed weapon - to be hot.