I must be doing something right.
I've had a spate of negative comments of late, suggesting that people who are both threatened and unhappy need to express themselves somehow to me. I particularly enjoyed the fellow who felt he needed to prove - at length - how he was able to achieve emergent behaviour at his gaming table without needing to roll dice. Good on you, brother. Way to buck the current of reality.
It is 54 days since I felt compelled to get angry at anyone online (restrained myself from showing it on the blog, however), and 92 days since actually losing my temper at anyone in the comments field. That is 13 weeks and a day. A quarter of a year +1. I've written a few rants since then, but nothing that I've gotten actually angry about . . . and I haven't attacked anyone in that spirit since March 9th. So let's appreciate that a little.
Naturally, since I've stopped chasing people away, more and more are turning up to comment here. But the rules I established continue to be in force, and they will be forever. Once, I used to let comments through so I could argue with them, but those days are gone.
I have noted that my reputation for deleting people "who disagree with me" has increased, even as my online persona has considerably cooled down. I wish to note that the raw hatred that I detect in comments hasn't diminished at all, particularly from people who claim the purpose of their hatred is due to how unreasonable I am about letting people speak freely. I am pleased to say that it doesn't bother me as much as it did three months ago. I believe I've turned a corner. I feel very good about the content on the blog, very good about the length and thought people are putting into the comments that are printed, and encouraged about my chances of doing well this next year.
I have been thinking of the problem of filming a D&D session, and I believe the solution would be to approach filmmakers on campus at the local university and let them solve my problems for me, in exchange for whatever would make them happy. They've done quite a lot of this, and I think if I let them pick the space and arrange things in a way that would please them, I might get some good footage.
I begin rehearsals today for playing the Dungeon Master in the Dead Alewives' D&D sketch ("dungeons and dragons . . . satan's game . . ."), which I'm performing on stage for the July 3rd fundraiser. I promise there will be video.
I'm a bit leary about making this confession, but it has to be acknowledged at some point, so here it goes. For about six weeks I have been writing on a schedule of about 1,700+ words a day. Yesterday I passed 73,000 words. The third draft should, therefore, be finished on or before June the 29th. There will still need to be some editing, mostly in the hands of another person, but I should be able to put together a mock-up prior to the fundraiser for showing around. The final copy should be completed and ready for sale on July the 11th. The cover art has been finalized and I should be able to show that around the 16th of June. I definitely feel like I'm on the downhill now. There were some times at the end of April, the beginning of May when I wasn't sleeping and stress was at a peak.
For those people who are interested, I should be able to start playing D&D intermittently, on and off line, after July 5th. Gawd, do I want to get back to it.
A last message for those who just absolutely hate me. I just don't know what I can do for you. On the whole, it would seem that anything I did to reach out to you would demand I be untrue to myself, my family, those supporting me and people who actually like what I write. This seems a lot of unnecessary inconvenience for people that I like just so that one lone person in the world that I don't can have things their way. I hope you understand. It's just not in the cards for you. I know that anything good that happens to me just grinds your palate, but no matter how much I think on the matter, I can't think of a way to help you. I hope you're able to figure out some way that you can go on, finding your own way. I know that you've certainly proved to me that you're a worthy person that deserves consideration, consolation and plenty of love. I wish you the very best.