Catastrophe

Not a very pleasant post, yesterday, I know.  And I know that it seems out of place for D&D.  But there exists a considerable opportunity in D&D for players to see the DM as merely a tool or resource to be used for their benefit.  A player may have a deep passion for the game they play every week; they may count the days before play resumes, becoming excited and arriving in a state of euphoria and a desirious readiness to play.  It can be terrific to have such players, as their exhuberance can produce a lot of game momentum and make for a fine evening.

Unfortunately, this attitude doesn't necessarily mean that same player appreciates the effort, creativity or investment the DM has put into crafting their game experience.  Players are well able to take a DM for granted.  They may in fact feel no special connection or appreciation for the DM as a person ... while continuing to arrive ready to play, because the DM exists.

In many cases, both the players and the DM may initially assume that because there's a mutual appreciation and enjoyment of the game, everyone at the table also has an appreciation for each other. This may easily not be the case. It's a common assumption in any social setting, including tabletop roleplaying games like D&D, that mutual participation implies mutual appreciation. However, that assumption doesn't always hold true.

Both the DM and the players might enter the game with that assumption; and it might, in fact, be true at the outset. But as time passes, the individual nature of the participants can't help but undergo some kind of transformation, for better or worse. And steadily, over time, it may become evident that the latter is the case. The players may continue to show up and play because they enjoy the game itself ... or because they value having a regular activity to participate in. The DM might continue to run the game because they enjoy the process of managing the game, with it's back and forth and such.

It can be sobering for the DM to realise that things have moved away from what they once were ... and it's very easy to dismiss that feeling, to believe that it's overly self-conscious to doubt one's associates or friends, especially if the campaign has been going on so long that everyone's invested deeply into it.

Now, I tend to look at this from the DM's perspective, because I haven't played the game in about 35 years; but this can easily go the other way.  DM's can certainly take their players for granted, using them to sustain a campaign that's based on a tacit give-and-take that has, in fact, long since evaporated.  So anything I say about the players' attitude towards the DM, please understand that I'm equally speaking of the DM's attitude towards the players.

If anyone detects this shift, addressing it can be challenging.  Anything that's gone on for a long time, where individuals have been invested, is going to obtain a certain degree of calcification.  Seeking to engage others on the topic in a blunt, direct manner can produce an equally abrupt defensiveness and resistance from the other participants, potentially making it unlikely that discussion is going to resolve anything.  Even a softer attempt at broaching the subject is bound to produce some kind of undesired and possibly unwarranted reaction ... because we're mostly all on a hair-trigger and wary of a possible accusation.  We see accusations hiding in the bushes that aren't there, and are ready to call them out at the first suspicion.

So ... the truth is that the campaign can easily rot from within.  It's easy for A and B to accept C at the game table, while mildly casting disparaging comments outside the game; it's easy for C and D to do the same with E.  It's easy for B and E to have silent misgivings about the DM, yet continue to come and play because they like the DM.  It's just as easy for the DM to have those same misgivings about B, D and E.  And so it goes around.  The game continues.  Everyone continues to show up like clockwork.  But a low-level discontent begins to accumulate ... and once it starts, if it's not addressed positively, there's going to be an event.

The fallout from such situations will be significant, especially if the game has been going on some time. Catastrophic fallout from such situations can include the dissolution of the gaming group, fractured relationships among players and considerable emotional distress for all. People quit the game after this kind of fallout; and those that continue to play D&D never forget that it happened. Even when playing with a different group, in a different form of the game, the trauma remains, making trust with the new group difficult. There are feelings of betrayal and intense blamification [not a word] of the game itself, the edition or the genre, rather than attributing the fallout to actual people.

After it happens, there may never be an opportunity to validate the feelings of other people who took part.  Very likely some, most or all the participants involved may cut off all ties with the DM or with each other, depending on how the conflagration shaped itself.  A DM that's had a party explode like this may go months or years without intiating another campaign; they may quit the game entirely.

And here's the last point about it I want to make.  This isn't rare.  In fact, it's extremely common ... and it's rarely, if ever, discussed in the open.  There's so much shame and discomfort towards the event that most of us would like to pretend, first, that it has never happened, and second, that it can't to us.  That's not true.  Ignoring the prevalence of conflicts within D&D does a disservice to everyone.  It does not matter the quality of the DM, because this is about people, not one's ability to describe things or direct a game.  People are fuzzy, unpredictable things ... and yesterday's post was meant to outline how much of the time people function without being self-aware of what they're doing, why they're doing it, or even that they drew consequences for having done it.

Do not think that you, Gentle Reader, are exempt from this.  It can happen to anyone.